Many people struggle, just as I once did in the past, with the concept of anger. Now, you’ll notice that I said concept, and not reality. How many people, groups, factions, or nations are angry with someone, something, or some condition of life? Getting into a discussion about anger seems not to be a very positive topic, given all that one could possibly talk about, but talking about anger can lead to a more positive state of being, and from there, it can even lead you on to a state of love. This topic would not even have to be discussed, if anger was not so prevalent in this world. Anger is a stepping stone or mile marker on the way to hate, and so when we deal with anger in its infancy, we are really making this a more loving world for everyone. That is a good thing, don’t you think?
Let me then ask you a question, which came to me in one of my quiet moments. I knew automatically that it had a lot of significance and so I wrote it down right away. The question came to me in this exact form.
Yes, that’s what “they” did, but why are “you” angry?
I instinctively knew that there was some very important concept being expressed in this question. The concept is that, anger is not a natural response, but rather a chosen response. That statement makes all the difference in the world. A natural response is one which is programmed into the human race, while a chosen response is one which has been programmed into your individual brain. Whatever happens in life is what’s happening, the question is, why are you angry about it? Why do you choose anger? Not everyone does you know, some people choose different responses.
Some people like to portray themselves as being totally helpless to choose any other response other than anger, to the actions or insensitivity of other people. They think that, not only is anger the correct automatic response, but that they are justified in choosing that response as well. Justifiable anger, there is a whole other topic for discussion. I will give you my impression of what justifiable anger is. It is an excuse for ignorance, for mental laziness, and emotional immaturity. It is an ego concept that allows people to have their own way. If you asked the question is anger ever a justifiable response, it would not be nearly as relevant as the question, “is anger ever useful?” My answer is no, anger is never useful, needed or appropriate. Everyone is running around mouthing words about love, trying to emulate the actions which seem to express love, trying to teach their children about the concept of love. How then, if you are trying to think, be, and act in a loving manner, can you ever see anger as being useful?
Now I can just mentally see all the hairs on the back of all you social worker, and psychology types going up because that is not what you read, were taught, and that is not what you practice. You were taught that emotions should not be repressed, but should be expressed instead. And I totally agree with you on that. So, if you never get angry, you will never experience a need to vent those feelings, will you?
Further to this I will say that many things in life require a response. When house work or yard work needs to be done do you get angry, or do you just get it done? When a criminal commits a crime and needs to be dealt with, is there any advantage to getting angry, or should we just do what needs to be done? This topic is really huge because it encompasses all the miss-beliefs society holds about life. Anger is a programmed response to life, caused by the beliefs your ego has absorbed from society, and if you’re angry it is almost always the result of an ego that thinks it has been minimized, ridiculed, insulted, abused, taken advantage of, or shamed in some way. When you have a model of the world that supports and justifies your anger, then you are incapable of determining any other response to the situations that are coming your way. Altering the beliefs which are triggering your anger is the only way to increase your level of joy. The whole point I’m making is that people can and should choose to develop beliefs which support the kind of world they say they want to live in.
So, that’s what they did, but why are you angry?